busy busy busy!

I am so sorry I have not posted anything! I have been super busy!! I thought life would calm down a little...but NOPE! =) Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving!!!

A tiny shell

Alexa found this shell while we were fishing. I switched over to my macro lens and tah dah! I was amazed at how well you could see the lines in her hands. I always use macro for flowers but never thought about using it for close ups like this. :)

My oh My!

Time has been flying by! I have been super busy with the homeschooling. Kash is learning so much he just catches on so quickly. Alexa is getting into more difficult things like harder spelling words and writing in cursive.  Emma has been doing her school work too. She has her very own work book that she writes in and colors in. The kids are growing up so quickly. Its hard to believe sometimes.

The weather is cooling down. Well, it was. We will be in the 100's on saturday. who would have thought!! The kids are enjoying playin outside and riding their bikes. Its nice to have an area where the kids can ride their bikes with out the worry of cars. Rick made a little race track for them and man oh man do they love it. I am getting my garden ready for the spring. I am very excited to start gardening. The kids are also!

Well, I spose that should be enough to get you all caught up in our little world. Hope all is well with you all!

Love,
Anna

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,
Today marks 14 years since you  took your own life. I was just an eleven year old girl who's life was quickly changed with an act of selfishness. The memories still haunt me of the day we heard the news. The pain still sneaks up on me when I least expect it. The tears still fall down my face as if it were yesterday.

You left me with so much hurt and anger. I was so mad at mom because I thought she could have prevented it. Most of all I was angry at myself.  I thought that I could have prevented it. I thought that what if I would have.....or I should have.....or I could have.... I wish I would have.....I know I could have.......

Years of guilt overwhelmed me. Years of anger towards you wanting to explode. I found the cure.....alcohol. It numbed my pain and my anger. It was my band-aid. It felt so good to feel free from all of the emotions. Little did I know the next morning the pain was there again. The anger still wanting to explode like a bomb. I thought I would try another way to feel better. Take it out on Mom. I thought it would be the right thing to do. I could feel better and things would be back to normal. I knew it would not bring you back.......

Finally it hit me...I ripped off the band-aid and started dealing with the pain and the anger. I realized that yes it was an act of selfishness but you also had a mental illness that many people do not understand. Sometimes I still don't understand it.

Today I sit and write you with a changed heart Daddy. I am not a little girl anymore who has hurt and anger towards you. I am a woman who understands her true feelings.  I do not blame Mom because, she loved you and supported you. She was the one left with all the explaining. She is the one who had to carry the burdens of life. She was the stong one through it all. I have forgiven myself. I could have done this or that, but, it would not have changed the outcome in the end. All the I wish and  I would haves are now gone. I have peace and love in my heart.


I forgive you Daddy. I thank you for the things I have learned from this. I love you.
Your little Girl,
Anna

Honest Scrap

so, I was hopping around in blog land today and noticed that two people have sent me an award. wow! thank you Nicki and Scotti.  Sorry it took me so long to notice! :)

Now I have to tell you all 10 honest things about me. This might get tricky because most of you know all about me. I am going to put my own little spin on it though and attach pictures. He we go!

1. 
   
   I make life long friends. Many of my friendships come from my past. I have friends from kindergarden that I talk to at least once a week. well, not really talk....we text. I  believe that friendships are NOT disposible in any way. We are all human and we all make mistakes. I enjoy meeting new people but it takes a lot for me to call you my friend. In the past I have had people stab me in the back and use me then dispose our friendship.  If you are my friend today you will still be my friend tomorrow.
   
   
   

2.  I LOVE art. I think art comes in many many forms. I love doing creative things and learning to do creative things. Photography is my favorite and would love to learn more about it. I also enjoy watching my children do art. Their minds are so different from eachother and their art is a great way to capture how different

they view the world. I love see viewing all the different forms of art also. I am the tyoe of person who will stand in awe over something simple.

3. I hold stong to my beliefs. Children need to see the example of a loving family. A family who loves and supports them. Famlies are the building blocks in life. Children follow by expample.

4.  I have always had a hard time crying in front of people. I grew up with three brothers. I couldn't cry because they would know I was weak. I had to be strong like them. When I met Rick I would not cry n front of him. I was scared what he would think. I didn't want him know that inside I am weak. After 6 years and three kids, he can't get me to stop crying.

5. I am addicted  to the phone. I will almost go into a panic if I go into a store with out it. I love txting and I do not show my husband how many txt msgs I send each month. I have never gone over our limit but I have been close. Thank God most of my friends are on Verizon!  I talk to my mother and mother in law every morning. My mother will panic if I do not answer I do the same to her!

6. I am addicted to my camera. I have to have it with me at all times. I am lost with out it by my side. Most of you know this already. I have to be able to catch every moment of everyday. I am always looking for a great shot!  Its very rare that I do not have a camera flashing in some ones face.

7. I would rather spend time with my family than to spend time alone. I really do not know how to spend time alone. I always feel like something is wrong when I don't have my children around me or some one else in my family around me.

8. I am a real person. I am who I am and I am comfortable with it. I have lived life and have learned from it and I am loving my life. Lifes too short to be fake!

9. I can't stand it when people chew with their mouths open. This drives me up the wall and back down again. I don't know why but the sound just really gets to me.

10. The outdoors is where my heart is. I love the smell of the fresh air, hiking in the mountains, camping under the stars, eating fresh cought fish. Wyoming is where my heart will always be. Too many memories in those mountains!

So, Now you know 10 honest things about me...your turn! I choose all of you! let me know when you are done so that I can come check it out! You do not have to add pics. I did because I am creative like that.

The House

Alexa and Emma on the top bunk. Alexa picked out Tinker Bell for her wall. Emma chose Dora the Explorer.

Kash loves having a tent in his room. You can see in the picture below that he has stars planets and the Moon on his wall.

We Love being here in the new house. We are adjusting to a lot of new things! One: Snakes! we have had one Rattle Snake. Two: Spiders of all shapes and sizes. Three: I have no clue what some of the insects are! The sunsets are amazing out here!